Unlearning What My Bullies Told Me
What were you teased for as a kid? What else was happening in your life that the people who teased you knew nothing about?
Starting at age ten, I was being teased for being dark skinned, having parents who had an addiction disorder, and for being poor.
The teasing mostly came from the boys in my class who said things like:
- “Your mom left you in the oven too long, that’s why you’re burnt.”
- “Yo momma is a crackhead, she was buying from my brother last night.”
- “Dirty ass clothes you got on, I should smack the shit outta you.”
I learned to have tough skin, a witty tongue to be able to strike back fast, and I quickly discovered that being funny made others pay less attention to what I lacked and more attention to how I made them feel through laughter.
I became the class clown. It was my shield.
I also became someone who laid in the bed and prayed, “God if you love me, you would let me die tonight.”
The version of me that I knew died. Who I was before being teased, before being the “funny one,” before having to defend my parents’ addiction… died. Did God love me?
I turned to writing and I turned to art to rediscover my voice. To get back in touch with the memory of who I was and who I want to become.
Lesson: KINDNESS COSTS NOTHING… cruelty could cost someone’s life… it costed mine…
Who are you being kind to today? How are you showing kindness to your inner yourself?