Unlearning What My Bullies Told Me
What were you teased for as a kid? What else was happening in your life that the people who teased you knew nothing about?
Starting at age ten, I was being teased for being dark skinned, having parents who had an addiction disorder, and for being poor.
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The teasing mostly came from the boys in my class who said things like:
- “Your mom left you in the oven too long, that’s why you’re burnt.”
- “Yo momma is a crackhead, she was buying from my brother last night.”
- “Dirty ass clothes you got on, I should smack the shit outta you.”
I learned to have tough skin, a witty tongue to be able to strike back fast, and I quickly discovered that being funny made others pay less attention to what I lacked and more attention to how I made them feel through laughter.
I became the class clown. It was my shield.
I also became someone who laid in the bed and prayed, “God if you love me, you would let me die tonight.”
The version of me that I knew died. Who I was before being teased, before being the “funny one,” before having to defend my parents’ addiction… died. Did God love me?
I turned to writing and I turned to art to rediscover my voice. To get back in touch with the memory of who I was and who I want to become.
Lesson: KINDNESS COSTS NOTHING… cruelty could cost someone’s life… it costed mine…
Who are you being kind to today? How are you showing kindness to your inner yourself?